And it’s Golden Globes time. This is the official kick-off to Oscar season.
They announced these at 5am, and I’m sure a lot of people were awake and ready to hear them or were expecting me to have done the same, but I think we’ve long since established how little I care about the Golden Globes as anything more than a good start to the actual important stuff that’s gonna happen later. This is the bread they put down on the table at the restaurant. Occasionally I’ll take a piece to sop up some of the sauce on the plate later, but for the most part, it’s just a starter.
The good news is, because I didn’t wake up that early, I’m finding this all out as I go, so you’ll get my unvarnished opinions as I read the nominees. Though I’ll be honest, I had several long conversations with people last night (people who seem to care about these nominations significantly more than I do) where I said a bunch of stuff I expected to see, owing to them basically wanting to have certain people there and them being complete and utter starfuckers. So honestly, the big surprise to me is gonna be if they don’t nominate people.
Off the top of my head — Star Is Born will be across the board. Gaga won Best Actress yesterday. They’ll nominate Mary Poppins, Black Panther, Crazy Rich Asians. Because then they get the entire casts. Bohemian Rhapsody should get love more than people expect. Nicole Kidman gets minimum one nomination. The Favourite gets two acting nominations (because, as I said, you nominate Rachel Weisz, you get Daniel Craig to show up too). Emily Blunt gets nominated easily, because then you get John Krasinski, which allows them to not really nominate his movie and still get him to show up. They might nominate Widows just to get that cast. Vice will get nominations for that cast. Mary Queen of Scots double nomination seems promising too, because then you get those two there. I’m curious to see if they care about BlacKkKlansman or not. Going back to Mary Poppins for a second, I’m sure Lin-Manuel wrote a song there, so I’d expect that. Also, as I say to everyone — you gotta watch out for Meryl. Any excuse to nominate her, they’ll take it. She has 31 Globe nominations. 31! And I think only two are for TV.
But yeah, that was all stuff I expected just riffing with people last night. They read all the prognostications, and I did not. So I honestly have no clue where this is going, and I will tell you know I’m putting less stock into this than everyone else is. It’s SAG that I start to look at things as serious contenders.
So without further ado, here are your Globe nominees for this year:
Best Picture – Drama
Black Panther
BlacKkKlansman
Bohemian Rhapsody
If Beale Street Could Talk
A Star Is Born
Bohemian Rhapsody and A Star Is Born both went Drama. Okay. And BlacKkKlansman, for that matter.
I’m not even batting an eyelash at Black Panther being here. 2018 has already seemed to anoint that movie as a Best Picture contender, and I’m just gonna leave that one for posterity.
Beale Street… surprised they nominated it, but cool. Wonder if it’s a Barry Jenkins thing or if people legitimately like that movie. Either way, solid entry. Sticks out on a list like this though.
A Star Is Born already has this won, unless everyone’s gonna rally around Beale Street as a Best Picture winner. Rhapsody I’m glad they nominated, but in Drama? Also thrilled about BlacKkKlansman. Kinda hoping that manages a Picture nomination in the end. But at this point, I won’t hold my breath. Especially if Black Panther and A Quiet Place are legitimate contenders at the moment. I feel like the best case scenario is the Academy doesn’t do something shortsighted and stupid. I won’t hold out hope they go for things I wanna see get nominated.
Mostly what this tells me, with three Musical/Comedy contenders going here and Black Panther getting on, is that this is an incredibly weak year — which I’ve been saying all along — and they didn’t have enough to put on here to fill it out.
Truly, what’s left? Roma might be the only big one that I’m moderately surprised not to see. But that doesn’t have a cast they can invite. If anything, watch them single out Cuaron by himself as a way to support that movie. Or put it in Foreign, which also feels like them too.
What a weird Oscar season. I wonder if the guilds are gonna level this out or if this is what we’re in for all the way through.
Best Picture – Musical/Comedy
Crazy Rich Asians
The Favourite
Green Book
Mary Poppins Returns
Vice
Yeah, that about seems right. This is the kind of crop I was expecting.
Vice was a lock to get on. Mary Poppins was a lock. Crazy Rich Asians and Green Book were locks. Though I think it’s hilarious that Green Book is considered more of a fit in this category than BlacKkKlansman, Star Is Born or Bohemian Rhapsody. But whatever.
I love that The Favourite got on. I was expecting one of their bullshit Mamma Mia kind of choices here. But good. This is a solid category.
No idea what wins, but at this point, winners don’t matter. Not in an Oscar season like this.
Best Director
Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born
Alfonso Cuaron, Roma
Peter Farrelly, Green Book
Spike Lee, BlacKkKlansman
Adam McKay, Vice
There’s Cuaron. Man, are they predictable.
This shows you, aside from how rigged the Globes are and how it’s really all about who shows up first and what might get nominated at the Oscars second, what movies they liked most. Peter Farrelly is nominated. So yeah.
I also fully expect Bradley Cooper to win this too, knowing them. I just feel like they’re gonna go all in on that movie and dare everyone else to not vote for it.
But other than that, Globes Best Director is about as meaningless as a category gets, so I’m not putting any stock into who is or isn’t nominated here.
Best Actor – Drama
Bradley Cooper, A Star Is Born
Willem Dafoe, At Eternity’s Gate
Lucas Hedges, Boy Erased
Rami Malek, Bohemian Rhapsody
John David Washington, BlacKkKlansman
Wow. Willem got on. I figured they wouldn’t nominate him just to get someone more interesting to them on instead. But that’s cool. Cooper was a lock all the way and Malek was a lock all the way. Washington is interesting. Wonder if they just liked the movie a lot or if they think they’re getting Denzel to show up. Hedges makes some sense. Didn’t love the movie, but it was made for situations like this.
No Ethan Hawke here, or First Reformed. Which I half-expected in both directions. SAG will tell the tale on that movie. As will the PGA. Otherwise, I’m not sure who else would have gotten on here that doesn’t already qualify as Musical/Comedy for them. Maybe Hugh Jackman, but that movie always felt like it was gonna be in the 6-10 range for contenders. Maybe he gets on a list or two, but everyone will always leave him just off of it. Honorable mentions territory. Other than that, I don’t know if there’s anyone major left. I also haven’t really put any thought into it, so I’m sure there is.
Curious if anyone other than Cooper wins this. No, right? Though I guess if he wins this, maybe they do go somewhere else on Director. Would love to see Spike win that. That would be a really nice moment.
Best Actor – Musical/Comedy
Christian Bale, Vice
Lin-Manuel Miranda, Mary Poppins Returns
Viggo Mortensen, Green Book
Robert Redford, The Old Man & the Gun
John C. Reilly, Stan and Ollie
Redford in Comedy. Okay, then. Sure, this isn’t a broken system at all.
And of course, there’s Lin-Manuel Miranda. I thought he’d go in Song. But they put him in Actor. Man, they will do anything.
Bale and Viggo were locks. Reilly makes sense too. That about covers all the bases there.
Bale and Viggo are your frontrunners here. I’m really curious to see which way they go. But we’ve got a month to think about that. That’s not what today is about.
Best Actress – Drama
Glenn Close, The Wife
Lady Gaga, A Star Is Born
Nicole Kidman, Destroyer
Melissa McCarthy, Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Rosamund Pike, A Private War
Gaga had this won a month ago, FYI.
But, there’s Glenn Close, there’s Melissa McCarthy. Expected both of those. Was kind of hoping for no Close, but the year is weak and she’s great. I just didn’t love the film. But sure. Nominate her.
There’s the Nicole Kidman nomination I was expecting.
Rosamund Pike has been sort of hovering around contender status, but I wasn’t sure where she’d show up. This is a start, but I’ll need to see SAG and BAFTA to take her seriously here. This is a year of Comedy/Musical people.
Surprised to see no Saoirse Ronan here. Especially since she won last year for Lady Bird. Otherwise, the lead Roma actress was a long shot. I never took Keira Knightley serious as a contender. Or Carey Mulligan. Widows was only gonna go Best Picture here. But it’s too mainstream for the Globes, so I wasn’t totally expecting it. I half-expected a Hereditary nomination for Toni Collette, but I feel like that only happens if Gaga goes Musical/Comedy. No Felicity Jones, but it might just be because the movie is coming out really late. Or because it’s not that good. Too early to tell.
But yeah, I feel like all the other major contenders are going in this next category, so this all about makes sense.
Best Actress – Musical/Comedy
Emily Blunt, Mary Poppins Returns
Olivia Colman, The Favourite
Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade
Charlize Theron, Tully
Constance Wu, Crazy Rich Asians
Blunt, of course, Charlize I was expecting, Constance Wu makes sense. Colman of course. And Fisher, that tracks.
Colman as lead is interesting, since arguably she’s supporting and Weisz and Stone are lead. I’m curious to see which, if either, get on Supporting. Though they have much greater chances now that the film and Colman are already nominated.
I suspect Blunt wins this, but Colman would be cool, and Wu is always a contender just because. But this category is actually weaker than I thought. This is gonna be a strange Oscar year.
At this moment, things are set up for a Star Is Born sweep. You realize that, right? The guilds should even things out, but for a movie that’s on its fourth remake without any major Oscar wins before now, that would be a really interesting turn of events.
Best Supporting Actor
Mahershala Ali, Green Book
Timothee Chalamet, Beautiful Boy
Adam Driver, BlacKkKlansman
Richard E. Grant, Can You Ever Forgive Me?
Sam Rockwell, Vice
I cannot fathom why everyone is putting Mahershala Ali supporting, but at this point I’ve come to accept it as something that’s happening.
Chalamet — sure. Kind of a co-lead, but when you play a meth addict, you’re gonna be off screen for a while when you disappear on drug binges. So whatever.
Driver, yeah.
Grant, yeah.
Rockwell for Vice. Okay then. Wonder if that’s just because he’s Sam Rockwell.
Sam Elliott should be here, but I guess he’s not as fun as any of these other people.
I honestly don’t even know what other contenders are for this category, so I won’t look too deep into it. It’s a… I should have saved this for Original Song, bu fuck it… it’s a Shallow year, so I’m not sure where things are gonna go. Supporting Actor and Actress Globes are generally pretty different than everything else, so we’ll just see what happens.
Best Supporting Actress
Amy Adams, Vice
Claire Foy, First Man
Regina King, If Beale Street Could Talk
Emma Stone, The Favourite
Rachel Weisz, The Favourite
Stone and Weisz. Okay, then. They loved The Favourite. I am all for that. There’s Regina King, who I was expecting. And oh yeah, Amy Adams. Thought she was lead, but Supporting makes sense for a nomination. So sure. And Claire Foy, that reminds me that First Man was utterly ignored to this point. Though I did expect that to really only be a player in the tech categories at the Oscars, so I’m not overly surprised.
Kidman should be here for Boy Erased. Surprised no Margot Robbie, but if Saoirse Ronan got left off, odds were stacked against her. Who else was left? Natalie Portman seems like the only person that’s sort of been out there. I do know they pushed her as Supporting for that movie, since it’s kind of a split story. Half the younger actress, half her. That kind of leaves her in a no man’s land. Otherwise, everyone else feels like fringe contenders. So I guess this rounds out everyone else I was sort of thinking of. But we gotta wait for SAG. That’ll tell the tale.
Best Screenplay
The Favourite
Green Book
If Beale Street Could Talk
Roma
Vice
Sure. This way they get their Roma love in without having to put it up for the big award, and everything else has been seen elsewhere. Makes total sense.
Best Original Score
Black Panther
First Man
Isle of Dogs
Mary Poppins Returns
A Quiet Place
There’s the token Quiet Place nomination to make sure Krasinski shows up. And First Man gets a token nomination too. Other than that, this doesn’t matter.
Best Original Song
“All the Stars,” from Black Panther
“Revelation,” from Boy Erased
“Girl in the Movies,” from Dumplin’
“Requiem for a Private War,” from A Private War
“Shallow,” from A Star Is Born
The key with Original Song at the Globes isn’t what the songs are, it’s who wrote them.
We all know Gaga is winning this, so we can move on from that. All I want to know is who wrote and/or sang the other four songs. Let’s look:
“All in the Stars” — Kendrick Lamar and SZA
“Revelation” — Troye Sivan
“Girl in the Movies” — Dolly Parton
“Requiem for a Private War” — Annie Lennox
See? That’s how they vote here. Not on anything else.
Mary Poppins would have been here if they couldn’t find a place for Lin-Manuel in the acting categories.
Best Animated Feature
Incredibles 2
Isle of Dogs
Mirai
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
So basically what you’d expect for the Best Picture category, only this one doesn’t mean anything. People who really wanna see Mirai get on will use this as a reason it’ll get on. Sadly, it’s not. If it gets on, it’ll be completely unrelated to this. But it’s a start. It’s something to hang your hat on. Better that than Smallfoot.
I’m really curious to see what happens to that fifth spot. Early Man, Grinch, Smallfoot, Mirai. That’s it. That’s all you got. Unless they’re gonna throw a huge curveball, which has basically been legislated out of voting, it’s not gonna be a very interesting category until you get to final voting time.
Best Foreign Language Film
Capernaum
Girl
Never Look Away
Roma
Shoplifters
Sure. There’s your Roma nomination, and the others I will put no stock into, even though this is really our only precursor for the Oscar category. Let’s wait for a shortlist and then we can see if this means anything.
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Okay, so those are your film nominations, and here come the TV.
Warning, I do not care at all about the TV and have probably not seen a single nominated show. I will tell you if and when I’ve seen anything, and will also barely say anything about these nominations because not only do I not know anything about them, I also don’t care.
Best TV Series – Drama
The Americans
Bodyguard
Homecoming
Killing Eve
Pose
The Americans is on its last season, I know that much. Was this even nominated before or are they pretending to care now.
I don’t know what Bodyguard is unless it’s a TV series based on the Kevin Costner movie. In which case, cool.
Homecoming is that Julia Roberts show, right? By Sam Esmail? That’s not surprising.
Killing Eve, of course they nominated it. Especially since its star is the fucking host.
No idea what Pose is, but I’m just gonna assume it’s a Ryan Murphy show. But at this point, I should assume most shows are Ryan Murphy shows, right?
Best TV Series – Musical or Comedy
Barry
The Good Place
Kidding
The Kominsky Method
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
I actually know what all of these are!
I keep telling myself I should watch Mrs. Maisel, but to this point I haven’t.
Kidding, all I’ve seen of it is that behind the scenes video of that oner they did.
The others, I just know by name.
I know in this category especially they like shiny new things, so I wouldn’t expect to see Mrs. Maisel repeat. The only question is what their shiny new thing is gonna be this year, especially since the two major contenders are on their second seasons. Kominsky Method seems like an excuse to get Douglas and Arkin nominated, and Kidding seems very unlikely and is just there to fill out nominations. So unless Maisel goes two in a row, they’re gonna vote for Barry or The Good Place, right?
Best Actor in a TV Series – Drama
Jason Bateman, Ozark
Stephan James, Homecoming
Richard Madden, Bodyguard
Billy Porter, Pose
Matthew Rhys, The Americans
Oh, I see. Put Stephan James on here so you don’t have to nominate him for Beale Street.
Bateman was up lat year. I think he lost.
No idea who the middle two are. And Rhys is clearly here because it’s the last season and they’re pretending to have loved the show all along.
Best Actor in a TV Series – Musical or Comedy
Sasha Baron Cohen, Who Is America?
Jim Carrey, Kidding
Michael Douglas, The Kominsky Method
Donald Glover, Atlanta
Bill Hader, Barry
Yeah, that about makes sense. All I’ll say here is, they better vote for Sacha Baron Cohen just for the speech he’s gonna give. Outside of that, I can give less than a single fuck about this category.
Best Actress in a TV Series – Drama
Caitriona Balfe, Outlander
Elisabeth Moss, The Handmaid’s Tale
Sandra Oh, Killing Eve
Julia Roberts, Homecoming
Keri Russell, The Americans
Caitriona Balfe is on here like three years running and hasn’t won. Moss probably won last year. How rigged is it if Sandra Oh is hosting and wins? Roberts and Russell, sure.
Honestly, don’t know and don’t care about this one. Mostly all this does is tell me how they’re voting. Moss wins, they’re keeping up with the trends. Oh wins, it’s rigged. Roberts wins, star fucker. Russell probably has been nominated before and hasn’t won, and Balfe hasn’t either. So why start now?
Best Actress in a TV Series – Musical or Comedy
Kristen Bell, The Good Place
Candice Bergen, Murphy Brown
Alison Brie, Glow
Rachel Brosnahan, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Debra Messing, Will & Grace
Okay. Hard to go for shiny and new when two of your nominees are from 90s reboots.
Brosnahan won last year I think, and then Bell and Brie are no strangers to this category.
Honestly doesn’t mean much to me, any of this.
Best Miniseries or TV Movie
The Alienist
The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Escape at Dannemora
Sharp Objects
A Very English Scandal
I wanna watch Dannemora. Otherwise, English Scandal I’ve heard of, Sharp Objects I never bothered to watch, Versace won all the Emmys a few months ago with Maisel, I know. And then Alienist I heard of just because I saw ads during some sporting event or awards show earlier in the year.
Haven’t seen any, so I have no stake in this.
Best Actor in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Antonio Banderas, Genius: Picasso
Daniel Bruhl, The Alienist
Darren Criss, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Benedict Cumberbatch, Patrick Melrose
Hugh Grant, A Very English Scandal
Wasn’t everyone buzzing about Darren Criss? Doesn’t he win this? Or is it the kind of thing where he already won his awards and that was six months ago, so they’re moved on and are gonna go elsewhere? Hugh Grant might be a good one for them. I bet they were itching to try to give him one after Florence Foster Jenkins.
But yeah, haven’t watched any of these, so I don’t care.
Best Actress in a Miniseries or TV Movie
Amy Adams, Sharp Objects
Patricia Arquette, Escape at Dannemora
Connie Britton, Dirty John
Laura Dern, The Tale
Regina King, Seven Seconds
Regina King gets the double nomination. Way to hedge their bets on Supporting Actress.
It’s not a Globes year if Laura Dern doesn’t get nominated.
I still can’t believe Dirty John is a thing that exists as a miniseries.
Amy Adams wins this, though, right? Isn’t that what everyone thinks?
Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
Alan Arkin, The Kominsky Method
Kieran Culkin, Succession
Edgar Ramirez, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Ben Whishaw, A Very English Scandal
Henry Winkler, Barry
That all makes sense. There’s Succession. Way to get Adam McKay on there twice. Otherwise, no idea, and honestly doesn’t matter to me. Rooting for Winkler because he’s awesome.
Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or TV Movie
Alex Borstein, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
Patricia Clarkson, Sharp Objects
Penelope Cruz, The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story
Thandie Newton, Westworld
Yvonne Strahovski, The Handmaid’s Tale
I assume Clarkson wins, though Borstein would be cool. And I’m always rooting for Thandie Newton.
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But yeah, those are your Globes nominations. I’m taking them at face value, which, in Hollywood, means there was probably a lot of work done to them behind the scenes.
These are meaningless in a vacuum, but it won’t stop all the think pieces and prognosticators from thinking they do.
Welcome to Oscar season, folks.